Free Wine…Please?

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Life can be awesome. It can also punch you in the gut when you least expect it.

But one thing is for certain, if you are willing, there are opportunities to learn how to improve your life. In this post, the focus is on handling rejection and how you can use it to your advantage.

When asking for what you want, it’s important to be crystal clear. Be specific with your request. But, what if you get rejected? No worries. I’ve got you covered.

Here are three ways to improve how you approach and handle rejection.

1. Change your perception

Rejection is a myth, according to Jack Canfield in his book, The Success Principles. Your thoughts are powerful. Rejection is a concept you hold in your thoughts. You can choose to make it mean whatever you want it to mean.

Rejection can only get worse if you let your thoughts make it into more than it is.  Sometimes the answer is just no.

What is your perception of being turned down?

Jack explains, after rejection the situation doesn’t get worse; it stays the same. If you ask your boss for a raise, and there is no agreement, you didn’t have the extra pay in the first place. The situation stays the same.

However, what if your boss said yes?

Think of rejection as an old friend. (Wazzupp) You don’t have anything to lose by asking. However, you miss an opportunity by not asking.

2. Practice being rejected

Have some fun and get it done. Turn rejection into a game until you get more comfortable asking for what you want.

The reason for this is to gain valuable experience with the process of asking and not fearing the possibility of rejection.

With this new comfort and skill set, you will be prepared for when your “ask” really matters (like when pitching a program to a new client).

Some easy practice examples are:

  • Ask for something free at dinner (wine, dessert, more bacon)
  • Ask for your blog posts to be published in a popular publication (check me out)
  • Ask for something where you are pretty sure you will be turned down (be adventurous).

There are lots of practice opportunities out there.

If you are willing to pay the price now, and be a little uncomfortable in the beginning, you will reap the benefits the rest of your life. You will be a rock star when it comes to asking for what you want.

Anything worth doing well is worth doing badly in the beginning.” – Marshall Thurber

3. Peace and Love

Focus on the positives. Stop fighting what you don’t want. Don’t give rejection all the attention.

Instead, turn your focus towards the experience and the next opportunity that awaits.

If you don’t go after what you want, you’ll never have it. If you don’t ask, the answer is always no. If you don’t step forward, you’re always in the same place – Nora Roberts

Go after what you want and make peace with rejection.


Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

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14 thoughts on “Free Wine…Please?

  1. I love this perspective Jace! My husband has been in the sales field forever and also taught me it’s just a numbers game, after a number of no’s you’re going to get a yes if you don’t give up. Thanks for the reminder to practice!

  2. Thank you, Cherie! Yep, good sales people know not to take the rejection personally. It’s a great reminder for the new entrepreneur. Good times. High Five

  3. I needed this right now. I love your idea of making rejection a game and just practicing. That way, if someone says no, you can say to yourself “oh, I was just practicing that time.” If they say yes, it’s a win.

  4. My sister Debra always says that: “If you don’t ask, the answer is always no.” And she doesn’t even read Nora Roberts….

    I’ve also been practicing the Buddhist technique of detaching from the outcome. Therefore, whatever response comes — acceptance or rejection — I don’t take it personally.

    Good advice, Jace.

  5. Rejecting rejection is another way of accepting it as a valuable part of the journey. Great tips. Awesome quotes. I’m motivated!

  6. Practicing is good advice! Over the past year I’ve had some amazing good things happen because I asked even when I expected a no.